Sunday, October 31, 2010
The Jack in my drink swirls around in its' icy concoction, making my blood race just a little faster and the tip of my tongue impatient with profanity. It tastes like LA to me. All the dirt and the grim, all the blaring noises and opaque people. One knows that it really isn't good for you but you can't help how good it tastes, and how easily it goes down, swallow after swallow. There'll be time enough for gut aches and regrets tomorrow.
Monday, July 12, 2010
I stumble to my feet. I can feel the unnatural sway of the room around me, the grit in my mouth and the blood on my tongue. I'm a survivor-no more, no less and for that I'm proud. But this blow, this pummel, this smack-has kept me down far longer than I would have thought and given fuel to the smokey whispers of defeat which swirl around me. The roaring in my ears is constant and as I shake my dizzied head, I can only guess as to which way to turn.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
I've been slowly cleaning out my attic and last night I came across a box of pictures I'd taken on my 1st trip overseas. There I was outside Venice enjoying my first taste of grappa. A snapshot of crumbling ruins and gelato. Pisa, Assisi and Rome, & then me in front of the Panthon. And as I searched the 17 year old face defiantly staring up at me from its celluloid prison, I wondered where that girl had gone. Look at those dark ass eyebrows, wild and untamed, I look positively russian. And not a trace of make up upon my face. Yet somehow I looked more captivating then...more sure footed and courageous. More sure of what this world had to offer. Or more tellingly~more sure in what I had to offer.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Today, while nannying, I wanted to shout out at the top of my lungs "This Kid is Not MiNe!!! Seriously!! I'm an On call Nanny and I've neVer meT them beFore!! I NevEr would have taken them to toddler playland if I knew they were gonna push Down all the baBies and have Bad Bed head all day!" Instead, I bent down and picked up all the feathered tiaras they had just knocked over and thanked the heavens that they weren't mine.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Well the winter gloom has finally set in and little monsters of jealousy have broken loose, and are beginning to cause havoc within my head. My mom and brother just road tripped down to LA, the land of sun n' fun, without me and I'm here, in all my soggy exuberance, hating them. On the opposite spectrum of things, my darling man told me that I have three smiles. Three uniquely, separate kinds of smiles and for him to notice that, is just beautiful=)
Monday, March 8, 2010
Now that the wedding fever has begun to subside and the last few pieces of cake have been nibbled away, I can get back to my bitter tirade against my small town existence and keen wildly for my urban city. Right after I go weed my garden and bake the home grown squash my grandma gave me this morning that is=).
Monday, February 8, 2010
I guess what they say is true and that you really can't go back again...not exactly anyway. My sister called this morning to let me know that she is giving up our Hollywood apartment. Like a battle weary lieutenant , she's valiantly tried to hold onto it but the siege of times passed and hard urban living have land claim to it's ceramic steps. I have loved that place more than anywhere else I have ever lived. I found myself within its' walls and created the life I wanted on its' plantain covered balcony. I can close my eyes and see the honey color of the worn wood floor, the afternoon light dancing off my orange bedroom wall and the cracked bathroom tiles. I can smell the delicious scent that only two girls that live together and who use different perfumes and the same incense can create. Ya~there are reasons why I left LA, but that apartment and living with my darling Aubrey sure wasn't one of them. I'm going to miss it more than I know.
Monday, February 1, 2010
The gray mellow of the afternoon settled around me as I counted out my last minutes of freedom before succumbing to the yeasty monotony of the small town pizza parlor I've been ensnared in. Maybe something exciting will happen tonight~like a bar brawl and someone will break one of our four stools and throw a bottle of coors light at one of the three flat screen TV's which adorn the walls. Then at least, I won't have to subject myself to another football game and I can watch my boss cry. Well, one can only hope.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
It seems that the Washington rain spirits have answered all our soggy Seattlite pleas...for once it's pouring rain in LA and it's a nice springlike day here. HaHa Vengence!!! It's a small consolation for having to leave my beloved life of urbanity behind but it does make me feel a tiny bit better=)
Monday, January 18, 2010
Saturday, January 2, 2010
I've decided that 2010 is the year to get things done. So that is why, at this ripe and stormy hour, I have drank a cup of left over coffee to keep me awake long enough to eek out something worth writing about. However, it doesn't seem to be that forthcoming. Hmmmm?? How about a classic list of New Year's resolutions?? It can't seem to hurt...not today anyway. A year from now, it could possibly make me cringe with guilt and feelings of slothliness, but right now, a resolution list sounds positive and even a bit optimistic. So here goes....
In 2010 I want to:
Get MaRRieD! Yep yep yep....Edgar and I are gettin' hitched SoMetime this year....Either when my family can settle down and quit arguing over when and where it's gonna happen or more plausibly, when Edgar and I finally come to our senses and just elope.
Wallpaper my hallway....yes the other hallway...the one we didn't wallpaper a few weeks ago...joy joy
Get some sort of ReliaBle & RuNNing Vehicle...at this point I really don't care if it's a military tank as long as it starts up in the morning.
Write more letters....
Be a better friend...really do need to work on this...if you call me and it takes me a 1000 plus years to call you back please, please don't take it personal...I'm just really not a phone person and I guess I'm a little flaky too but that doesn't mean I don't miss you=)
Visit someplace, really anyplace outside of this soggy state...
Go to NY, LA or San fran....any of them will do...I just need to breathe in one of them before I shrivel up from lack of urban culture...my dear SeAttle is just a little bit too squeeky clean to do the trick.
I could think of a hundred other things I should do this year but the buzz the stale coffee awarded me has worn off and now I'm sleepy and if I hope to accomplish even one of my resolutions, I need my beauty sleep. So CheeRs~